Attack of the Killer Tomatoes

How many of us remember this movie fondly as the big-screen debuts of both George Clooney and Anthony Edwards? Especially those of us who were hormonal boys at the time and thrilled to discover the double entendre in the title?
Unfortunately there are no bikini-clad babes to distract grocers and restaurateurs from the past week's salmonella scare. NYC's health department sez we should stay away from raw plum, Roma and round red tomatoes. The feds say that Arizona, Florida, Idaho, Montana, Nevada, North Dakota, Oregon, Rhode Island, South Dakota, Wyoming, Washington D.C. and Puerto Rico might be infected. Really? Washington D.C.? Was that Georgetown or the Mall where the vast tomato fields have been stricken?
Florida sez they're gonna have to destroy $40 million worth. Tough luck, Florida. I'm sure that money would have gone to fair wages for legal workers on environmentally conscious farms.
I'm not one of those George Weld guys who only uses "local, free-roaming chickens and artisanal heirloom grits" in New York City. Too hard to chase down the chickens, especially on Park Avenue. But I've got to admit that the higher gas prices get, and the more industrial agribusiness gets pounded by scandals like this one, the better I'll be pleased.
I was talking to my uncle who runs a mushroom-canning business in Missouri, and he said "with these high gas prices, it just doesn't make sense to buy those mushrooms from California anymore." Hmm. Maybe the Missouri guys should can the Missouri mushrooms, and the California guys should can the California mushrooms, and then we wouldn't have to truck them halfway across the country just to turn around and ship them right back again.
I thought it was pretty funny that a decent grocery store like Gristede's took the time to make a nice sign to explain which tomatoes were from where and why they were safe, and Western Beef tacked up a four-week-old inspection notice from some company nobody's ever heard of.